Movie review: ‘Thankskilling’ (2009)

November 23, 2017

Happy Thanksgiving, horror fans! Before you chow down on some turkey and stuffing, why not gather your family around the television for the greatest American tradition? No, not football…slasher movies! But be forewarned — after you watch 2009’s surprise so-bad-it’s-good hit ThanksKilling, you may never want to eat turkey again.

College students Ali (Natasha Cordova), Kristen (Lindsey Anderson), Johnny (Lance Predmore), Darren (Ryan E. Francis), and Billy (Aaron Ringhiser-Carlson) are carpooling home from college for Thanksgiving break. But surprise, surprise — their car breaks down on the way and they’re forced to camp out for the night in the woods. When they encounter a killer turkey, brought back from the dead every 505 years by a Native American curse and determined to kill white people (which I’m pretty sure is also a Twitter hashtag), the gorefest begins.

ThanksKilling starts out with two elements essential to a slasher movie’s success: Gratuitous nudity and a catchy theme song. Seriously, this theme is right up there with the Halloween tune. As we move along, every slasher cliche is utilized: Bad acting, continuity errors, dumb teenagers, and an immensely stupid plot. But the movie knows what it is. It knows it’s bad, and has as much fun with it as possible.

Turkey is a poultry version of Chucky in the sense that he has tons of silly catchphrases. He also wakes up after over 500 years able to speak perfect, modern English, slang and everything. Other things happen that make it clear the movie is bad on purpose, but I won’t give them away. I’ll just let you watch for yourselves. 

ThanksKilling is fast paced and entertaining, if nothing else — and if for unconventional reasons. So if you like bad horror movies or just want to freak out the family members who voted differently than you in 2016, give ThanksKilling a try. Even if you hate it, you’ve only wasted just over an hour of your life.

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